TPJ: Rules, playing fields and landmines

Today's post on my blog Vered's The Penny Jar.

In the world of Waldorf (Santa treated this journalist to the second season of Gossip Girl), the ex who dates first is the one who wins.

But it's not winning when you date someone else or at least give dating someone else a shot and end up realizing that while, yes, you can move on, you don't want to.

All I can think about is what I want and what I'm not getting. I'm not enjoying myself or living in the moment. I'm not sure anymore if I can open up to a new guy. And if I do, what pace should I take?

Read the rest of this blog post here.

Trust Issues

Here are the first few paragraphs of a post I wrote for my blog Vered's The Penny Jar on September 18.

Why is it so difficult to let past transgressions go, especially when they could be hurting our chances with someone new? I find it so difficult to watch a friend struggle with trusting someone new because of old hurts. Lately, it is the very situation I have been finding myself in. I am watching as my friend Kay struggles to trust what this very new, very cute guy is telling her because she is so worried about protecting herself, and nothing I say or do will help her to trust while still keeping a close watch on her heart.

I have been in her place, scared and afraid, tormented by the emotional pain I had been put through because the people I trusted had done me wrong. I was scared to trust new people but by nature, I still did trust to a degree. That's the thing about me. I can't help but trust people. Even when I want to put walls up, I can't help but tear them down--or let someone else do the work--but usually the walls don't get but waist-high before I let someone in. And I'm not talking just romantically.

Why is it so hard for others of us, when for some (like me) it comes so naturally, to trust someone when they've never hurt us?


Read the rest of the original post here.