In My Book: Sometimes we must suffer in order to learn

Columnist Rosella LaFevre digs into the struggles faced by "Long Run, Short Catch” author.

Many of us, I believe, have asked the question, “Why me?” When we face tough situations, we wonder why those things had to happened to us. I’m not the only one who has begged for an answer to this question, I am sure.

Asama Iwuoha, a Nigerian-American and the author of the self-published memoir “Long Run, Short Catch: One Woman’s Desperate Attempt to Discover If Normalcy Actually Exists on Earth,” posed this question on the first page of her book.

Iwuoha, whose memoir encompasses the sexual abuse which she suffered as a child and the years she spent as a student here at Temple University, wrote at the start of her memoir that she has never found the answer to this question.

In her book, Iwuoha recalled the time her mother discovered her father in the act and called the police. When her father returned from prison to live with the family, Iwuoha had to learn to deal with his presence. Understandably, she continues to hold a grudge against him, getting fancy clothes and accessories out of him and finally, by marrying a Jamaican man to spite him.

Sometimes, when we ask the question, “Why me?” we seek to absolve ourselves of any guilt, as did Iwuoha. She asks the question without pausing to consider that perhaps her ill-fated marriage happened because she chose to marry a man for the wrong reasons.

As a sophomore at Temple, Iwuoha was finally fitting into a group of girls. One of them introduced her to Michael Williams, a polite Jamaican man. He immediately took a shine to her despite being more into light-skinned girls, as Iwuoha’s account tells us.

His father had brought him to America using someone else’s passport. Advised by his father that marriage would be the quickest way to solve his problems, Williams recognized that Iwuoha could solve his problems and he set out to marry her.

Action was taken so that he might go to college, but it caught up to him when a student enrolled at Temple with the same Social Security number. That was when his father told him he must find a woman to marry and soon after, he met Iwuoha.

They started dating, and soon after, he told her his dilemma. Unsure, she said she’d think about marrying him.

“Is it possible he just wants to use me as his ticket?” Iwuoha wrote. “Either way, marrying him could be my final valediction from father.”

The outcome of the situation is surely undesirable, but this could be the very answer to the Iwuoha’s question.Why should her marriage end the way it did? Perhaps because, as much as Williams was using her for a green card, she was using him to get back at her father.

Often, we beg the question, “Why me?” because we hope that should the answer come to us one way or another, that it will give meaning to our suffering.

Perhaps Iwuoha’s supposed inability to find her answer is because in writing the book, she sought to answer the questions her family had about the choices she made in life.

“Not only does my book entail many of those answers, but it also served as my catharsis, releasing me of emotional baggage that had been haunting me,” Iwuoha said of why she chose to self-publish her story now.

Ultimately, Iwuoha’s book raises more questions for the reader than it answers, but this could be considered its greatest charm. By questioning Iwuoha’s actions, reactions and feelings, we learn that sometimes the answer we’re looking for is right there. And sometimes, it’s not so important why you suffered as how you championed that suffering.

This fourth installment of my book column for The Temple News appeared in today's issue, under a different headline.

In My Book: Where you come from is part of who you are

Columnist Rosella Eleanor LaFevre explores ideas of self discovery in Anna Fields’ book “Confessions of a Rebel Debutante.” 

The summer before high school, I had to read three books, one of which was Louisa May Alcott’s “Little Women.” It became one of my favorites, not only because it had been the longest book I had read at the time, but because I felt a connection to the character Jo March.

Since that summer, my favorite books have tended to be the ones with characters I could relate to, especially books about female characters who are as strong-willed and rebellious as March was.

Recently, I had the pleasure to read Anna Fields’ “Confessions of a Rebel Debutante,” which will appear in paperback this February. Fields’ memoir is about a chubby white kid with dreams of being Scarlett O’Hara who grew into a full-fledged rebel debutante living among Yankees.

For Fields’ sophomore year of high school, she transferred from public school to a single-sex boarding school called Wellingham – a place of tradition where girls had various lessons on ladylike behavior and tradition rules.

The high school I attended, Philadelphia High School for Girls, is the only single-sex public school in Philadelphia. I chose it because it was a place where tradition ruled. Like Fields, I believed I could learn better without boys to distract me.

I was mostly right.

To read the rest of this, the first installment of my column "In My Book" for The Temple News, click here.

Shop Class: Connections of vintage love in Philadelphia

Fashion columnist Rosella Eleanor LaFevre finds the vintage jackpot in Queen's Village.

My love for vintage started in sixth grade when I realized dressing like the so-called popular girls would never make me one of them. This is also about the time I learned Gwen Stefani had scoured thrift stores as a high school student wearing men’s pajama bottoms she had pegged herself.

After forcing my mother to take me to a thrift store, I had a religious experience. There were rows and rows of clothing, and each piece was different from the others – as different as I was from every girl in my class.

Since fondling fur coats and trying on men’s vests in that thrift store, I have loved vintage for its increased power of expression and for the stories woven into every fiber. Recently, I took a walk around Queen’s Village and found four incredible vintage emporiums just south of South Street.

Read the rest of my fifth "Shop Class" column for The Temple News here.

Shop Class: Love in the hands of a Claddagh ring

Toast to love this St. Patrick’s Day with the Irish ring. Its origin and purpose dates back to love.

I am not Irish, but growing up with two very proud Irish Catholic cousins, I can appreciate the culture.

In high school I even joined Irish Club, and although I only went to a handful of meetings, I spent $25 on a black hooded sweatshirt that had my last name printed on the back and that proclaimed I was a member.

On the topic of St. Patrick’s Day accessories, I had no clue what to suggest other than telling you to take a trip to the Party City located at 330 Oregon Ave. There, you can stock up on sparkly green top hats and four-leaf clover-shaped beaded necklaces.

Then I thought about that Irish Club hooded sweatshirt and the design on the chest. It was a simple drawing of the Irish ring. I knew the design – a crowned heart held by two hands – but did not know the name.

Its proper name is the claddagh ring. I cannot properly pronounce the word, but at least I can spell it.

To read the rest of the article for The Temple News, click here.

Shop Class: Spring into this season...

Rosella LaFevre lays out the dos and don'ts of spring fashion this year, so ladies on campus can look their best while soaking up some sun.

This winter, a nearly unanimous – if objectionable – vote by my lovely peers in favor of a comfortable three-piece ensemble had many them traipsing through the snow in North Face jackets, leggings-as-pants and Ugg boots.

This spring you can, and should, be just as comfortable in a softer, more feminine look. Think sundresses and cropped blazers, sun hats and brand-spanking-new white Keds sneakers. Consider Sookie Stackhouse from HBO’s True Blood your warm weather style sister.

Sookie Stackhouse, played by a beautifully blonde Anna Pacquin, is a waitress at a bar in Louisiana’s Bon Temp who happens to wind up dating a vampire for those of you who don’t know. She favors sundresses and cardigans and other style choices appropriate for a ladylike southern belle.

“I’ve shopped for most of the cast at Walmart, Kohl’s, Kmart, JCPenney, Sears – all the stores that real people from Bon Temps could afford,” Audrey Fisher, the show’s stylist, told Amy Wilkinson with MTV’s Hollywood Crush.

To read the rest of my third fashion column "Shop Class" for The Temple News, click here.